Key Takeaways
- A sperm donor is generally not a legal parent, but some states protect donors only when the recipient is married or a licensed physician is involved.
- A donor cannot claim parentage through genetics alone, but in some states he can become a parent by acting as one, as the actor Jason Patric did in California.
- Egg donor disputes usually arise when a couple breaks up and one parent argues the other is not a parent for lack of a genetic tie, an argument that too often succeeds against non-genetic parents.
If you donate sperm, could you someday be treated as the child's father and owe child support? And if you later want a role in the child's life, does a genetic connection give you one?
Joel Cohen talks with Douglas NeJaime, Anne Urowsky Professor of Law at Yale Law School and a leader in parentage law reform, about how state law treats sperm and egg donors, and why the answer can turn on marriage and how a family actually lives.
The General Rule and Its Gaps
NeJaime explains that a sperm donor generally is not a parent under state law. But states differ. In a number of states, that protection applies only when the sperm is used by a married woman, and in some only when a licensed physician handles it. In those states, a donor whose sperm is used by an unmarried woman can, to this day, be treated as the father and find himself on the hook for child support. NeJaime sees this as a carrying forward of the marital presumption: the law accepted a married man as a non-biological father but not an unmarried one. Those rules burdened lesbian couples and single women, which helps explain why many chose anonymous donors who could not be identified for a custody or support action. Because insemination can be done at home, he finds physician requirements troubling.
Known Donors and the Jason Patric Case
Some families want a donor involved in the child's life, but not as a parent. Reform-minded jurisdictions, NeJaime explains, make clear that a donor is not a parent and that genetics is no basis for a donor's parentage. A donor can still become a parent under functional doctrines. He points to the California case involving actor Jason Patric, who donated sperm to his on-again, off-again girlfriend while they were apart. After the birth they reunited, he formed a parent-child relationship, and the child called him dad. The appellate court held that he could not establish parentage as the genetic father but could do so by holding the child out as his own. Cases with conflicting evidence about intent lack a consistent through line, so regulating states try to spell out what proof is required.
Egg Donors and Non-Genetic Mothers
Many states treat egg donors like sperm donors, and NeJaime knows of no published case in which an egg donor sought to be a parent. Instead, disputes arise when a couple who used donor eggs breaks up and the father argues the mother is not a parent because she is not genetically related, even though she gave birth. In a well-known Tennessee case from the early 2000s, the court held that the woman who gave birth is the mother. Such arguments against non-genetic parents, he says, are more common than one would hope, and too often they prevail.
What to Know Now
The variation NeJaime describes still exists, but reform has moved toward clearer rules. The Uniform Parentage Act of 2017, adopted in a number of states, provides that a donor is not a parent of a child conceived through assisted reproduction, without marriage or physician requirements. Other states keep older statutes, so outcomes still depend on location. Anonymity has also changed: consumer DNA testing lets many donor-conceived people identify donors, and Colorado now requires identity-disclosure consent for donations beginning in 2025. Supporters cite a child's interest in knowing their origins, while some in the fertility field worry about donor supply. Known donors and recipients are well served by a written agreement and advice from a lawyer in their state.
